When I was a kid I thought the adults know what they’re doing. I thought my life was just school and that’s it. I was wrong. The first thing I learned throroughly was world history. I looked at empires rising and falling, wars with uncountable victims and massive revolutions that destroyed even the biggest empires. There’s an underlying constant: change.
Being born in the early part of the 21st century, it’s too late for me to understand the way my ancestors lived for almost the entirety of our species. But it’s also too early to go to distant stars. I’m stuck in this bubble called earth. On a not so unique star at the edge of a galaxy not so different from others. Worse than that, I was born in a developing country. I don’t mean it as a slur, but anyone who says that’s not a disadvantage in objective terms is seriously mistaken.
Sure be grateful and what not. Indonesia, among its peers is defintely on top. But I want more. I thought I deserve more. But I’m not entitled to anything. No one does. Not even my body is within my control. I studied foreign languages, learned how to write, read books everyday, learned how to code. I looked at why my country was colonized, how countries got rich, and I realized that there is no hope.
I try to find like minded people. So far, no luck. Not in this country. It’s probably my fault. Everything is, actually.
This century will define whether we will pass the great filter. It will cement our place in the universe. Whether we will be in the singularity or not, or maybe the environment will wreck us way before that, or wars, or maligned AI. Millions still live in poverty, has no access to electricity, modern medicine, internet. Forget it, they can’t even sleep soundly. I want to live in a world where everyone live in peace and abundance. Not a utopia, no. But that’s what we’ve always done, to conquer nature ever since we left the caves.
This is the reality. It took me a while to make peace with this fact. If this is destiny, I can only laugh. We’re all gonna die anyway, no one gets out of this game alive.
I don’t think I can contribute that much but I can make my life not miserable. Pessimist are losers, but I’m not an optimist either. I have to visit foreign countries, see their cultures, learn their ways. That’s my goal, I hope I can do it. There’s that word again, hope.